I'm Probably Not What You're Looking For

Its not really an issue of self confidence, you sound like a lovely person, its just that I'm probably not what you're looking for. Its not really a bad thing though; personally I'd just like to talk to someone that isn't one of the same 10 people I seem to talk to on a daily basis; its not that they're bad people, I just know they're not listening because they know me well enough to not. I assume you'll listen given that A. I'm not actually talking B. I may never know how much of this you'll actually read C. You don't know anything about me and D. You're ad makes you seem like someone who might listen, which is how I'd like to imagine you.

Maybe I should tell you a bit about myself:
I'm 19 and a string of paradoxes.
I have a constant 1st person narration going on in my head, which I've interpreted as proof I should become a writer; honestly I don't think the two have much correlation.
In my most visceral memory of childhood I remember grabbing at the diamond drooping off my mother's neck while she cuts some yellow flowers that smell like steamed broccoli. I think I may have made this image up, but it seems real enough.
People think I'm sad because I don't smile often. The truth is that I smile a lot, and am secretly one of the happiest, most fortunate people on the planet...but only in secret.
I don't drink. I'm not afraid of it or against it or emotionally disturbed by it, I just really can't stand the taste no matter how many times I try it.
I've read an embarrassing number of books that didn't make me any smarter, but they make me seem smarter.
I'd like to think I'm a man, but I'm probably closer to a boy.
I don't know.

Anyway, thank you for listening! I'm glad to have gotten the chance to talk!

-David

P.S. By the way, don't feel the need to respond to this at all; I unfairly took advantage of your listing for my own selfish purposes. I feel bad about this, but better about it than I do bad.