Inside Joke

Balthazar does not know how to deal with inside jokes. I mean, he's not obvious about it, he has the politeness of "correct breeding", but I can tell, I can always tell.
"Fuck today. So Richard was out "sick", which is fucking bullshit because we all know he and Maria from sales, also mysteriously "sick", are fucking. Anyway, I of course got stuck cold calling, which seriously fucking blows because who the fuck likes receiving calls from telemarketers ever, but in the middle of the fucking work day? I mean seriously! Anyway about halfway down the call list I hit a Mr. Stephen Latimer of Celsion Inc., whatever the fuck that is. I give him the usual "Hello Mr. Latimer, My name is Tess Charleston with Lehman, Lehman, and Schultz and I'm here to sell you a new way of doing business", and things tend to go normally like this for about five minutes, when all of a sudden I hear a huge dog barking in the background, and some German accent yelling at it to shut up. After about a minute of this Mr. Latimer says 'hold on a sec Tess' and I hear this assortment of noises including a whimpering dog and a slew of German curses. Now I'm never supposed to hang up when cold calling so I stayed on the line through about 3 more minutes of this shit before hanging up. I figured this constituted an extreme case. Anyway, two hours later I get a call from an unknown number, and its, of course, Mr. Latimer. He apologized for his 'previous conduct' and said that he'd 'like to make it up to me by taking me out for a proper meal'. What the fuck?!"
A general cackle rattles through dining room.
"Oh Tess why, do all the good men flock to you?"
"This one sounds like a keeper Tess. Maybe this guy'll be classy and spring for the Dunkin' Doughnuts and Orange Crush this time"
"And maybe afterward he'll invite the German over for S & M; Tess just loooooves being tied up."
"I think you guys are all jumping the gun. He definitely knows Tess was a Vet student, he just wants to discuss the correct way to 'pet his dog'".
"Shucks, guys I fucked up; think of the life I just let slip away: goodbye Mrs. Tess Latimer, ta ta raging pit bull, and to you German Sex slave, auf wiedersehen"
The table vibrates with laughter. Balthazar chuckles stabbing a penne with his fork dividing it into smaller and smaller pieces. Sauce sprays on his shirt, but he doesn't seem to care. In between laughs I notice he's gone to Hemingway land, working through "the ramifications of the 'glacial' language and the search for bullshit within the bullshit". The car ride home will be awkward. He'll insist on windows down, despite the intense humidity, and I'll drive in absolute silence. At home he'll fix himself a turkey sandwich with milk before 'retiring to the library' and locking himself in the garage. He'll wake me up a few hours later coming through the door. The room will quake with our laughter.